on my normal 'dog walk' route, i walk through a golf course that is across the street from the local community college. college students park along the roads within the course, as the parking is free. this was the first week of classes for them, so there were many people searching for spots. today when i was walking, the parking attendant was writing a ticket for a car that was parked on a corner (trying to park kinda 'around' the corner, at an odd angle to the curb. basically, in a non-existant spot). the license plate on the car? 'HIGH IQ'

um, not high enough to know you don't park in an unmarked spot in an area where there are always parking attendants looking for their next ticket to make quota...maybe this car owner should take a 'common sense' test instead.

ben and jerry's has a new ice cream. actually, they have had it for awhile, but the grocery store i usually shop at doesn't stock it. but i was at a different grocery store, and they had it. two pints for $5. and i had a $1 off coupon. woo! it's 'honey i'm home' - honey vanilla ice cream with chocolate covered honeycombs. give it a swirl of caramel, and festivus would have some tough competition. i can't believe how good honey vanilla ice cream is. yum.

i am sick of being sad. i have so much, yet i can't seem to appreciate it. i don't know what i want to do with my life anymore. :(

ARGH. i am the biggest idiot. when i faxed my NOLS instuctor course application, i had a picture of my first car (75 chevy caprice classic. woo) on the flatbed scanner (also a copyier and fax)...so, there was a picture of my car on every page of my application. they called me today to have me refax it. what a great way to make an impression. 'hmm. should we chose this person? nah, she's the idiot who faxed her application with a picture of a car on every page'

:(

this is trippy...searched 'alissa delaney' (ego. wanted to know if this page came up)...five different pages came up, my blog being one. :) but, there was also a 'babies born' site with an alissa delaney. cool. hmm. what day was she born? may 13. when was i born? may 13. trippy, eh?

of course, i had to try the ecological footprint test. whever i hear the term 'ecological footprint', i think of a graphic from my sustainability class in college of a giant bare foot bearing down on the Earth. very ominous.

If everyone lived like you, we would need 2.6 planets.

Total Footprint 4.7
In comparison, the average ecological footprint in your country is 9.7 global hectares per person.

i think the results are slightly skewed by the fact that i do not commute to a job everyday. i do what i can, but i also know i could (and should) make a greater effort than i do. i miss living in san luis obispo, where my car would sit for weeks, i walked everywhere, bought my produce at the farmer's market (i miss chatting with the artichoke lady!) and there were much fewer temptations to buy things (small apartment, no money, fewer stores, casual attitude, satisfaction with so much in my life). i doubt i'd ever end up back there, but hopefully somewhere with some similar characteristics.

when i was climbing this weekend, i was chatting with a friend of a friend (who i had met once before)...a great conversation. started by her asking me what i was reading...(margaret atwood, 'the edible woman'), what she was reading (fast food nation), to the fast food industry and marketing to children, to television, to agriculture and organic standards, to natural food stores and co-ops, to the trendiness of organics, to popular opinion, to bush's logging plan (i refuse to call it any kind of management plan. bullshit), to 'typical americans', to family members that shop at walmart and eat junk and have refrigerator shelves full of soda (my sister), to the fact that unless we change, the future is bleak.

it was wonderful to talk to someone who was as passionate (if not more) as i about these things...i need to live somewhere where there are more people who feel this way, i think. i have met some truly wonderful people here, but not many who value similar things...

'the future is no place, to place your better days...'

oh, and i just love how bush tries to justify his pro-logging plan

"There's nothing wrong with people being able to earn a living off of effective forest management," Bush said during his visit to Squires Peak.

"There's just too many lawsuits, just endless litigation," Bush said in Central Point, Ore. "There's a fine balance between people expressing their selves" and using lawsuits to block "common-sense forest policy," he added.

Touted as a fuels-reduction package, Bush's plan goes beyond just preventing wildfires. Part of his plan would allow a tripling of logging over current levels in the Northwest, even in forests where large fires are rare.

right. tripling logging is NOT going to prevent forest fires. forest fires are naturally occuring events, and suppression of them over time has led to overgrown underbrush. i don't think the timber companies are interested in logging underbrush...i was ready to yell at my newspaper this morning. argh!! hello?? bush?? yeah, you. we do need more logging - the removal of bushes from office. how many more years to we have to endure?

woo! my house is getting painted. well, now it getting scraped. then it will be painted. sage green with slate blue and brown and cream trim. here it is before:



can't wait to show off the 'after'. i am also working on painting my rocking chair (which was an ugly hand me down from an old coworker):



finally, i was almost going to drive to north carolina for a job starting thursday, at a educational/team building/ropes course camp. unfortunately, it's completely impractical, and next to impossible. but, hopefully it's a sign that i just may be able to get a job come september...*crosses fingers*

it's thursday, and i haven't written anything here since MONDAY? sorry. blog slacking. i'll make up for it soon, i promise. really, i will.

a few weeks ago, i got a card about a magazine i had never heard of. i suppose they got my name because i subscribe to the utne reader. anyway, the magazine is named 'HOPE', which, of course, intrigued me. the tag line on it is 'inspiring people, encouraging change'. it's a wonderful collection of articles - about families, about alternative building techniques, about people making changes to make the world a better place. at times, i have a quite negative view of the future. i feel like we KNOW how to live sustainably on this earth, but because of the way the world currently 'runs', it seems to be an impossible task. everything from our economic structure, building techniques, land use planning decisions, food choices, environmental regulations - we know how to do it in a way that causes minimal damage to the environment. yet, we don't do it that way. why not?

there is an 'ad' on the last page which i found humorous...mocking the advertising campaigns of drug companies.



today on nancies, someone started a thread about television. claiming that his friends that say 'oh, i don't watch tv' are trying to show off, to act intelligent. of course, a debate ensued. i, personally, don't like tv. at times i HATE tv...actually, everytime i turn it on, i leave it on for a few minutes, realize how stupid whatever i am watching is, and turn it off. i don't even watch jeopardy any more. i do admit that i spend some time on the internet. but it IS different. from 'kill your television' (i want one of those bumper stickers!):

Computers -- especially when networked and internetworked -- are the first technological advance with potential to actually diversify culture. The most exciting computer network in the world is the Internet, precisely because it is the opposite to television -- an active medium, facilitating individual expression and interactive communication on an unprecedented scale. It is the greatest many-to-many broadcasting system yet devised, though much communication remains individual-based.

thinking about tv, and all the things in society that are effected by it (people don't have time to exercise. or cook real food for dinner. or read. or spend time with their children. yet 12.7 million people watched 'american idol' last week)...i wrote up a little rant...didn't really mean to, but i felt better after i did. maybe it will make someone think twice about their tv. somone liked my rant, so i'm going to brag. :P

i have had this taped to my tv (which my husband insists on having. thank god he doesn't want to buy a $3000 tv like his coworker just did. though, i have threatened to throw it out the window when i can't get his attention):

television is a seductive monster that is swallowing more and more of the most valuable commodity in life - time. in 1960, the average american watched 5 hours of tv a day. today, he watches about 7 hours. teenagers watch about 21 hours per week, in contrast to 5.6 hours doing homework, 1.8 hours reading and 35 minutes talking to their fathers.

for most americans, television is the primary - and often the only - source of news. more american households have television sets (98 percent color) than indoor plumbing. three out of four households contain at least two sets, and half possess three or more.

i have had this for at least the past 5 years (it's a yellowed piece of newspaper)

that is just SAD. 12.7 MILLION people watched 'american idol' last week. think if those people would've gone for a walk, talked to their families, worked on homework, cooked a nutritious meal instead of eating fast food and microwave dinners instead during that hour...

and then the advertising is a whole other can of worms...

next time you are watching something, and think 'boy, this is stupid'...TURN if OFF. do something. live! enjoy!

after that rant...i'm going to take my dog for a walk. :)

to which someone said:That was one of the greatest rants I have ever read.

:) that made my night. and, yes, i used some 'target=_blank' s. why? i like them. :P

i ganked this from shep, but it's something worth sharing (in case you missed it over there)

Hush-Hush Hooray, Says NYC

it's truly sad that we need to fine people to keep them from being rude. i've noticed (at least around here) the number of drivers on the phone (especially in rush hour traffic) seems to be on the rise. all too often, it's people driving behemoth vehicles - not your everday suv, but the super-sized version. the grocery store, walking around the park, the gym - we survived how many years going to the grocery store with a LIST and not being accessible 24/7...i, for one, hope NY's ban is successful.

border's gift cards are dangerous. whenever someone gives me one, i always end up spending more than the card is worth...i walk into the bookstore as if it was christmas - so many books! cds! and i have 'free' money! i tend to go a little crazy. there was a coupon for 20% off anything in the store, so i decided it was a fine time to use the gift card i've had since my birthday (well, the last of the three from my birthday. my friends and family know what to get me :) )...

ended up with two volumes of live phish :

LIVE PHISH_02
7.16.94
Sugarbush Summerstage
North Fayston, Vermont

LIVE PHISH_07
8.14.93
World Music Theatre
Tinley Park, Illinois

the 93 show was the first bootleg i'd listened to...my phish 'introduction'. i've been wanting to buy some of the live phish cds(as opposed to, of course, dead phish cds. yes, i know that wasn't funny), and the 20% off coupon gave me a good 'excuse'. (phish! new year's! woo!)

also picked up 'comfortable with uncertainty' by pema chodron, who is a tibetan buddist nun. one paragraph:

'always maintain a joyful mind,' might sound like an impossible aspiration. as one man said to me, 'always is a very long time'. yet as we train in unblocking our hearts, we'll find that every moment contains the free flowing openess and warmth that characterizeunlimited joy'

i think this will be a useful in helping me be compassionate and understanding of others, as well as to discover things about myself. i picked up a copy of 'whole earth' and a book i read a few years back, and have been meaning to buy for a long time, just always seemed to forget about when i was at the store. 'my ishmael' by daniel quinn. i am eager to reread the book, but first i went searching for a chapter i remember, one that had a profound effect on me when i first read it, and the ideas presented in it have been haunting me the past few months. i didn't want to have it take up pages here (it's not that long, though), so please read it here

the chapter tells the story of an aimless man, searching searching searching for that 'it', unable to find satisfaction in the 'working world', but otherwise an intelliegent, educated, well-adjused person.

When winter came, his father talked him into seeing a psychotherapist he knew and trusted. Jeffrey stuck with it throughout the winter, going three times a week, but in the end the therapist had to admit that, apart from being ‘a little immature,’ there was nothing whatever wrong with him. Asked what ‘a little immature’ meant, the therapist said Jeffrey was unmotivated, unfocused, and lacked goals--everything they already knew. ‘He’ll find something in a year or two,’ the therapist said. ‘And it’ll probably be something very obvious. I’m sure it’s staring him in the face right now, and he just doesn’t see it.’ When spring came, Jeffrey went back out on the road, and if something was staring him in the face, he went on being unable to see it.

you can also read more here: illusions issue #4

i'm not sure what else to say...i relate to this on many levels, though i am still convinced it's me - me who needs to get their act together, me who needs to accept that most jobs are not deisrable, me who needs to do it to survive, miserable or not, me who needs to straighten up my marriage and my life...and it is me, at least to some extent...but isn't there another way? i have been taught the 'american dream' way my entire life - how else *do* you do it?

i'm rambling. read and enjoy. and if you haven't read 'ishmael', 'my ishmael' or 'the story of b', please do. they're well worth your time. :)

ENGELBERT HUMPERDINCK & more cool events happening near you!

i found this announcement in my inbox last night. engelbert humperdinck is a cool event? well, at least he has an entertaining name...

i know i usually find the 'lingo' that is often used by people when IMing and text messaging somewhat annoying. i can take (and use) some of them, i admit (brb, lol, haha). the use of words like 'ur', 'cul8r', 'xlnt', etc. tend to frustrate me...hello? vowels? anyone remember those? a e i o u and sometimes y? they cost $250 in wheel of fortune?

anyways, wanna create some lingo? this site will translate your words into 'lingo'...or if you get one of those undecipherable messages, it will translate it into english...

(the translation: "anyways, wanna cr8 som lingo? DIS site wil transl8 yor wrds in2 'lingo'...or f U get 1 of thOs undecipherable msgz, it wil transl8 it in2 eng..." (guess undecipherable isn't a word that can be shortened. then again, that word isn't in the cambridge dictionary... :P)

does being frustrated with this make me old? please say no! :)

http://www.transl8it.com/

yay!

PHISH IS BACK!!!!!

Phish To Play Four Concerts - 8.14.02
PHISH returns to the stage after an extended hiatus for four concerts beginning with a three-set concert at Madison Square Garden in NewYork City on December 31, 2002. Following that show, they will performthree nights at the Hampton Coliseum in Hampton, Virginia, January 2,3 and 4, 2003.

what new product will they think of next? now they are making CRUSTLESS bread. what? when i saw the ad in sunday's paper, i thought it was a joke. but, no. they are really selling crustless bread. and it being iron kids brand, i don't think it's the type you might use for finger sandwiches...

what do people have against crust? geez. smuckers is now making frozen crustless peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. uncrustables. who came up with that name? why not 'hey, if you're too lazy to make a sandwich, buy these!' pb&j sandwiches have to be one of the easiest snacks to prepare. why do you need an 'instant' one? i think this takes convienience products just a little too far...

now, people who have to ask these kinds of questions must be the ones who don't understand how simple the preparation of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich is. get out two slices of bread. a jar of peanut butter. a jar of jelly. (or if you are lazy, the squeeze type) a knife. lay one slice of bread on a plate. apply peanut butter on bread. it's easier to apply peanut butter first, because it's difficult to get it to stay on the jelly. clean knife. or lick it, just make sure no one's watching. then follow the same procedure with the jelly. place the second slice on top of the first. cut in half - making two rectangles or two triangles - or be creative and cut it into fourths. or use a cookie cutter to make fun shapes. voila! a pb&j sandwich. now, was that hard?

smucker's also sells pb&j 'kits' - so if you choose to put out a little more effort, you, too, can create your own pb&j!

i can't understand, really, why they always seem to be making more food products - many supposedly for convienience. what about how wasteful they are? how unhealthful many of them are? how full of preservatives all of them are? wonder what would happen if fruits and vegetables were sold by a corporate brand? new! presliced apples! grapes without the stems! i guess you already can by broccoli florets and bagged lettuce...curious. what happened to enjoying food? to knowing where it comes from, what's in it?

hmph. though, the tag line for the instant pb&j? 'pb&j has never been so much fun!'...putting everything in a wasteful plastic box and charging a fortune for it makes is FUN?

i'm back. deer creek was a blast.

but they didn't fucking play fucking say goodbye.

ok. that's all my complaining. the rest of the stuff i have to say about the weekend is positive, don't worry. nancies! warehouse! two step! pig! stone! grey street! one sweet world! so much to say -> anyone seen the bridge? -> too much...all in the SAME SHOW. damn. more soon. :)

i'm off to indiana (yeah, indiana!) to see dmb at deer creek. well, verizon wireless. but there are only, what, 7 verizon wireless ampitheaters? why the hell isn't it just still deer creek? i am SO excited. excited to see friends again. excited to see dmb again. excited that i will *likely* FINALLY get to hear say goodbye. have a great weekend!

interesting...seems that the lyrics from 'grey street' have struck a chord in many people. (me included, of course)...there have been at least six differnet searches on some part of: there's an emptiness inside her and she'd do anything to fill it in...she feels like kicking out all the windows...

...and setting fire to this life...

admittedly, i haven't gotten past track two on busted stuff very often. even in listening to grey street, after hearing this line, i often start the song over so i can hear it again. and again. and again. i swear i am going to make myself listen to 'where are you going' or at least 'you never know', but i can't seem to do it.

neat segment on npr today (the todd mundt show again. (what i always listen to when walking the dogs) on mazes. they spoke with adrian fisher, who has designed many of them...very interesting. at the end, he was talking about the maze not only being finishing it, but the journey through it. to paraphrase somewhat:

what is a point of a maze? it's something like what is the point of life? Is the walking of the maze is it the noting of the details and smiling at the people you pass, the laughter the joy of the experience? or is it getting to the goal? is it living each day to the full and giving as much joy to other people, or is it climbing into the box at the end?

listen here.

i can't believe that we would lie in our graves
wondering if we had spent our living days well
i can't believe that we would lie in our graves
dreaming of things that we might have been...

the segment that follows examines the idea that 'natural' flavors are different than 'artificial' flavors...they are really shockingly similar...give a listen if you have time. fascinating.

i swear i have some thought-provking interesting ideas in my head...my brain has been in overdrive this week. unfortunately, i can't seem to get them to come out my fingertips. a few things, though, that i am realizing about myself:

• being a nols instructor/working in outdoor education has been my dream job since i was 18
  
  
• it was never 'practical' in my mind, and i couldn't imagine telling my parents that was my goal
  
  
• this is the reason why my planning/desk job was hell. it wasn't a 'bad' job, but i felt like i was being tortured, stuck behind that desk everyday
  
  
• doing what i was 'supposed' to do is not working for me. at. all. but, it's hard to think differently about it.
  
  
• i am scared to persue this goal - am i qualified? would i do a good job? shit, could i even get a job?
  
  
• i need to work somewhere where i can communicate with people...i thrive on social interaction
  
  
• i always dismissed the ideas about my life as 'not what i was supposed to do'...making them seem impossible. but the first way to make them happen is to imagine them as possible
  
  
• it's going to take a lot of courage, time, effort and determination.
  
  
• but i CAN do it.
  

i remember being in 5th grade, playing volleyball. now, i wasn't very athelteically inclined (especially in sports involving a ball). it was my turn to serve. i told ms. byron, my teacher, 'i CAN'T serve'...she said 'yes you can!'...i insisted that i couldn't do it. she told me 'the only way you are going to be able to do it is to think you can. say it. i can serve a volleyball'...i said it (with a little bit of attitude in my voice, i admit)...bam! i hit the ball. it sailed over the net. i did it. i really did it. that was 15 years ago...but that memory is so vivid in my mind...

ever wonder where all that lost luggage goes? no, not into a black hole in the sky that sucks your luggage out of airplanes, never to be seen again. today, on npr, i found out. there is actually a place in alabama where they collect all of the unclaimed baggage. i just imagine thousands and thousands of those black suitcases with the little wheels and pop-out handles that everyone seems to be dragging through airports filling the trucks. i always wonder how many people go home with the wrong black roller suitcase. everyone standing expectantly, watching the black bags go by. 'hey! that one! from target! it's mine!'...nevermind the fact that there are probably 50 target black bags on the southwest flight...excapt for grandma, who has tied a pink piece of yarn to hers...why does everyone want a suitcase like everyone else has?? you KNOW you're going to have to pick it out of a lineup of bags. why wouldn't you think to get someting a little distinctive?

check out the npr segment (it's the second one, after a very interesting story on tibet and china, which, if i was feeling like i wanted to think harder, i'd talk about)

and, unclaimedbaggage.com.

oh, and my bag is blue. :)

there's an emptiness inside her & she'd do anything to fill it in

today, i was talking (online) about both moving to portland and the deer creek show in indiana.

on the way to the gym. and after the bookstore. picked up 'edible woman'. i love margaret atwood. this is one of her books i haven't read yet, but it seemed appropriate. i had to drive to both border's and barnes and noble to find it...according to one reviewer on amazon:

"The Edible Woman" is primarily the charting of one woman's loss of identity as she attempts to mold herself to conform to the expectations of others.

i have been on an emotional roller coaster lately. not your tame, every day coaster. no kiddie coaster. no wood one with just a little 'whee!' hill. more like those 6 loop, corkscrew, zillion feet drop, zero to sixy in 1.2 seconds ones.

i question my identity everday. some days i think i know exactly who i am. and i am quite confident in this fact. other days, i question if that is who i am, or some person i have created who's not really me...that doesn't make any sense, i know. most days i feel ready to start over. but many of those most days i'm really scared. i feel selfish, not making dan happy. doing things he doesn't want me to. not being the person he wants me to be. he told me today i'm not an easy person to live with. that just does wonders for my self esteem...

ahem, sorry. i've tried to keep that issue out of here...it's been a long, tough day.

where was i? oh! yeah! :) i was behind a moving van with indiana lisence plates. (lisence is another one of those alissa-can't-remember-how-to spell-its. license?)

coincidence? curious, isn't it? how often do you see indiana plates in northern california?

she feels like kicking out the windows and setting fire to this life....she'd change everything about her, using colors bold and bright...

THEY PLAYED SAY GOODBYE TONIGHT!!!!!

i am so happy. more than so happy. estatic. i was worried that i wouldn't hear it this tour, and i'd be 13 shows with no say goodbye (my favorite song)...but they played it! and wendy called and left the whole thing on my voicemail! yay! she's awesome! yay! yay! yay! yay! YAY! now they better play it at deer creek or the gorge....

did i say that i was happy?

i'm having a garage sale saturday and i am going through my *suprise!* garage. suprise is one of those words that i can NEVER remember how to spell correctly, no matter how many times i try. like the word receive (recieve?), fourty (forty?) suprise (surprise?) commitee (comittee?)...drives me crazy. because of my lost wallet, i have been writing quite a few checks. they all seem to be some derivative of $40. that's fourty? forty? why can i not remember which one it is?

anyways, i came across a folder that has my essays from high school. hilarious! my words of wisdom, as a ninth grader, on friendship:

true friendships are few and far between in the modern world. many people have aquaintences, not friends. in your busy lives, we forget simple things such as help with a particulary difficult task, hugs, and heat-to-heart talks. in our materialistic world we put ourselves before our friends too often...through this experience i learned how i must respect the feelings of my friends if i want to keep them

i found some great pictures, too. maybe i'll post them tomorrow. :)....

update: it's tomorrow. it seems as if before every dance in HS i posed on the bench in our front hall for a picture. me as a freshman (prom), freshman (homecoming), sophmore (homecoming), junior (prom-check out my FIRST pair of birkenstocks under the bench). hahaha. emptying out the garage is becoming entertaining. ok, maybe not for y'all, but it is for me. :)