i know many of you who read this (if anyone's still out there. :P) know me from nancies.org. for those of you who don't know, nancies.org (nancies) is a dave matthews band fan website, and i post on the discussion boards often. i've met many wonderful people there, and had many wonderful experiences because of it. it's nancies' 5th anniversary, and they asked for stories about the impact nancies made on their lives. mine was one that was chosen from the story - it's the fourth one, and i feel very honoured to be included.

tomorrow i am attending a dave matthews band show in sacramento. exactly three years ago from tomorrow i was attending my very first dmb show. the crazy, wonderful, amazing things that have happened to be because of this band! never knew that the live at luther college cd i bought at a border's in san francisco would set in motion such a life-changing chain of events.

happy birthday, nancies! :) eat drink and be merry!

hahahaHA! they had to do a study to find out that 'ice cream isn't health food'?? of course it's not! but it's ice cream...it's not supposed to be a health food - it's supposed to taste good...if i'm going to eat something 'bad' for me, it's not going to be a steak or a big mac or movie theater popcorn...it's ice cream. anything but mint chip. mint chip is wrong...mints freshen your breath. ice cream is ooey and gooey and yummy. if i want to freshen my breath, i'll eat a mint...if i am going to indulge, it isn't going to be with a breath freshener...yuck. some one sweet whirled...phish food...oatmeal cookie chunk, or the departed festivus...

every few months i receive 'the leader' - a periodical for NOLS alumni. every time i read one, i get goosebumps, realizing how much that month i spent in the southwestern desert changed me. that was a big step for me - taking something i've wanted to do since i was 18 and just doing it...going for it. ignoring what was 'practical' and what i was 'supposed' to do, and doing what i wanted to do, what would fulfill me. after that month, the thought of staying someplace i didn't want to be, in situations i didn't want to be in , in a job that was not satisfying just simply was not an option anymore. sure, going back to a desk job and 'normal' life would provide a more stable exisitance, knowing where i was going...now i just meander, paying attention to life, enjoying life...sometimes i hear that scared voice in the back of my head...'what ARE you doing?' (hmm, funny, it often sounds a lot like my father...). i know if i listen to that voice i will not get that feeling - that one where i know this is it, this is me, this is right...which is one of the best feelings, one that you can't 'pretend' is there - either it is, or it isn't.

i leave for michigan in two weeks, off for another adventure as an outdoor educator at a center in newaygo ('new' 'way' 'go' - exactly waht i am doing. :) ) i'm thinking now, as i leave this life behind, not without good memories, and move on to a new one...so many possibilities. maybe i'll go back and take another nols course - and outdoor educator one...hmm...

"Every exit is an entry somewhere." - Tom Stoppard

i had some kind of weird revelation or something tonight. i'm realizing that the cliff i said so long ago that i felt like i was walking, waiting to jump, is falling away, and i better jump soon to avoid being mushed in all the rubble.

i'm jumping in a subaru towing a uhaul trailer, so i sure hope something sturdy is going to break my fall...

*gggeerrronimmmoooo*

(hmm, that makes me sound like i'm jumping off the high dive)

that day, that i've been waiting for so long, is almost here. the day i walk out of this house, get in my car and drive away. that's it. goodbye. mourning divorce is kinda like morning a death of old age. it's the best thing, you knew it was going to happen, there's nothing you can do about it, so be happy for what you had, good memories, cry a little, learn a little, and move on. looking at what happened that way gives me hope. this was a very interesting period in my life - so many changes, so much learned, so many wonderful experiences and people. i'm ready to take all i gathered from this and go.

and i know a full life awaits me, one of new experiences, new ideas, new places, new people, and i can't wait to start it...

"Hope is a state of mind, not of the world. Hope, in this deep and powerful sense, is not the same as joy that things are going well, or willingness to invest in enterprises that are obviously heading for success, but rather an ability to work for something because it is good." - Vaclav Havel

i had been thinking about writing about corporate logos for awhile, and today read an article in usa weekend about the redesign of the betty crocker cake mix boxes, and am shocked at what went into it.

i noticed a few months ago, driving across country and seeing numerous subways (the sandwich shop, of course. not the underground things in new york city ;) ) that they had redesigned their logo. which isn't suprising - many fast food chains have done so - burger king, pizza hut...what did suprise me was how slight the redesign was. the old logo, the word 'subway' with an arrow at the beginning of the letter 's' and another arrow at the end of the letter 'y', written in white and yellow, stayed the same, aside from the fact that it is now italicized.

i wonder how much market research, time, effort and psycology went into that change. does an italicized subway make hungry customers buy bigger sandwiches? stop at subways more often? imagine the conversations in cars zooming by the lone gas station with a subway in nowhere, nebraska. 'oh, bob, i'm so hungry. look! there! subway! and its italicized NEW logo. wow. the food must be better now. let's stop and get something.'

in reality, most people probably don't even notice. why do they do it then? who comes up with the idea that, god forbid, our logo looks 'old' and we need a new one? subway's home page proclaims '19150 restaurants in 74 countries' (i think restaurant is stretching it a bit, but...). that is thousands of signs and advertisments and sandwich wrap papers and cups to change. the cost of just changing the highway signs would be a fortune, not to mention the lighted shop signs, window decals, menu boards. of course, that's a cost that is reflected in the price of the sandwich. personally, i'd prefer cheaper food and the boring old logo, but that's me.

ups also has a new logo. gone is the old sheild with 'ups' inside and the rectangular box with a little bow above it. now it's just the sheild with slightly different colouring. the package, to me, reflected what ups does. united parcel service. they deliever parcels, as represented by the box. ups did take over mailboxes, etc., so perhaps it is to emphasize that they just don't 'do boxes' anymore. of course one would think, 'oh, the package is gone from the logo. i guess they must make copies and faxes now.' i think not, though i wouldn't be suprised if market researchers felt differently about that. but, again, hundreds of thousands of logos need to be changed. maybe i should get in the business of repainting ups trucks....

my cell phone plan expires august the 8th, so i spent way too much time online making sure i was getting the best deal for what i need. with travelling and calling to/from canada, the choices are limited. turns out, i was already on the best plan i could be on, so i called at&t extend it and get a new phone - dual band! for free! woo!.

the first call only had me on hold for a few minutes, and the person who answered it was quite helpful and friendly. i found out that the call center is in canada, which explains that...where else would you get nice 'help desk' people? to switch my account, i had to be directed to someone else, though. she warned me it would be over a 15 minute wait. *sigh* oh well, had to get it done...

while on hold for a half hour waiting for someone to 'migrate' my account to gsm, i had a lot of time to waste, so i checked out phone details. looked into phone 'insurance', which i have never had before, but with the rate i loose things, might be a good idea. there is a hell of a lot of fine print to go along with the insurance. i found the following part "interesting". looks like they paid lawyers lots of money to write some legalese to protect them against anything. so, if there's a nuclear war, they'll only replace your phone if it's destroyed by fire. hmm. "insteresting":

EXCLUSIONS

We will not pay for "Loss" caused directly or indirectly by any of the following, and such "Loss" is excluded regardless of any other cause or event that contributes concurrently or in any sequence to the "Loss":

Nuclear Hazard, meaning any weapon employing atomic fission or fusion; or nuclear reaction or radiation or radioactive contamination from any other cause. But we will pay for direct physical "Loss" caused by resulting fire if the fire would be covered under this "Coverage Certificate."

War, including undeclared or civil war; warlike action by a military force, including action in hindering or defending against an actual or expected attack, by any government, sovereign or other authority using military personnel or other agents; or insurrection, rebellions, revolution, usurped power of action taken by government authority in hindering or defending against any of these.

Governmental Action, meaning seizure or destruction of property by order of governmental authority including economic and trade sanctions as provided under applicable law and U.S. Treasury Department guidelines.

Indirect Loss, meaning any delay, loss of market, loss of use or any other consequential loss, interruption of business or inconvenience; an increase of "Loss" caused by or resulting from the delay in replacing "Covered Property" due to interference at the location of replacement by strikers, other persons or any other cause of loss.

"Loss" due to acts caused by or resulting from rodents, insects, vermin, or other wild animals.

"Loss" due to the intentional parting of "Covered Property" by you or anyone entrusted with the property.

"Loss" due to obsolescence, including technological obsolescence of the "Covered Property".

well, after countless emails and no help whatsoever, i am still unable to publish to my server for kaleidoscopeyes.net. the last email they sent me told me to learn how to use an FTP client, not 'blog'. hello!!!??? i have been using FTP clients for years, i know how they work. the connection is being refused by my hosting company, so i cannot publish. it is driving me crazy! so until i figure all this BS out, i will have to go back to publishing here. i hope to have it back to kaleidoscopeyes.net soon. :)

i bought a new watch at sears. found a timex for 40% off - cheaper than target! it's a kids' watch. liked it much better than the adult versions, and the buttons are bigger, so i can actually use them easily. what's funny about the watch is the directions. a piece of paper about 20 inches by 20 inches is filled on BOTH SIDES with about 6 point font and 3 different languages. and they expect a kid to figure out how to program the watch? hello? it took me awhile to even find the english instructions! just makes me wonder...doesn't anyone think about these things?

Plastic Pollution in the World's Ocean

we produce enough plastic to have two pounds of plastic for every one pound of human being ... that is disgusting.

and the trouble is, if you don't risk anything, you risk even more. - erica jong
if you can put fear aside, you're unstoppable - janet hagberg
solitude, says the moon shell. every person, especially every woman, should be alone sometime during the year, some part of each week and each day. - anne morrow
i have no regrets. i wouldn't have lived my life the way i did if i was gooing to worry about what other people were going to say. - ingrid bergman
as we give fully, unafraid to let others know the truth about ourselves, we receive unexpected rewards from unexpected sources. - helen lerner-robbins

well, 4th of july was yesterday...and i still haven't figured out how to publish this thing. the company i use to host the website upgraded their servers, and none of the 'help' i have gotten from the support desk has helped! ugh.

so...this is a belated post. there was an article on the front page of the sacramento bee about patriotism, and how it changes in the face of war. many think any criticism of the government as unpatriotic -

'i don't like all the flag waving because it reminds me of war. as much as i support the millitary, i don't feel patriotic. i don't like the war, i don't like our president.'

another is quoted as saying 'i don't really think there is patriotism in america. the definition of patriotism is love for your country. this society is about love for money. it prioritizes profit above people. the real component of patriotism is a desire to improve the society you live in. but most people are trying to get the most out of it that they can.'

i'd have to agree with that one - american flags tied to car antennas, fashioned into earrings, displayed on tshirts does not make a patriotic country. we need to step back, and look at the whole picture, not just ourselves.

read something interesting in the 'free' paper here in sacto today. now, mind you, this is not pulitzer (i think that's the one) prize winning journalism, but interesting nonetheless. apparently local police and fire units are practicing terrorist attack simulations. i still feel that the likelihood of this is somewhat rare...and i suspect/worry it will be so catastrophic it may be difficult to simulate. the sacramento board of supervisors are aiming to raise $60 million in federal funds for the build out of the 'nothern california regional public safety training college' (ncrpstc? obviously not going for something acronymable, like the patriot (providing appropriate tools required to intecept and obstruct terrorism - wonder how long it took 'em to come up with that?!) act)...obviously this has become the financial priority in the government. nevermind all of the other areas needing money. we must be ready for the scary terrorists...*sigh*

the story goes on to talk about a simulation in elk grove. a firefighter approaches a group of wounded after an attack. on 'the firefighters command' the wounded are taken into tents, through makeshift showers, 'stripped of their watches and other possessions', scubbed down. they are then 'clean' and treated. 'what? you think it's broken? well, hold first hobble through this shower and give me your worldly possessions, then we'll think about treating it.' or seeing metal detectors around the doors of ambulences and hospitals.

i'm home. it's weird. much more soon. but first i have to figure out how to get this to publish again!! argh!