"Every exit is an entry somewhere." - Tom Stoppard

i had some kind of weird revelation or something tonight. i'm realizing that the cliff i said so long ago that i felt like i was walking, waiting to jump, is falling away, and i better jump soon to avoid being mushed in all the rubble.

i'm jumping in a subaru towing a uhaul trailer, so i sure hope something sturdy is going to break my fall...

*gggeerrronimmmoooo*

(hmm, that makes me sound like i'm jumping off the high dive)

that day, that i've been waiting for so long, is almost here. the day i walk out of this house, get in my car and drive away. that's it. goodbye. mourning divorce is kinda like morning a death of old age. it's the best thing, you knew it was going to happen, there's nothing you can do about it, so be happy for what you had, good memories, cry a little, learn a little, and move on. looking at what happened that way gives me hope. this was a very interesting period in my life - so many changes, so much learned, so many wonderful experiences and people. i'm ready to take all i gathered from this and go.

and i know a full life awaits me, one of new experiences, new ideas, new places, new people, and i can't wait to start it...

"Hope is a state of mind, not of the world. Hope, in this deep and powerful sense, is not the same as joy that things are going well, or willingness to invest in enterprises that are obviously heading for success, but rather an ability to work for something because it is good." - Vaclav Havel