what would you attempt if you knew you could not fail?

i like to think i don't have a fear of failing. i don't fear of failing myself, and if i do 'fail' something, i what i learn from it is usually more valuable than what i would have gained if i had succeeded.

i do, though, fear failing other people. disappointing other people. at times i let this control too many aspects of my life. everytime i tell my dad how much i love my job, he responds with 'can't you do that in california? aren't there jobs in california?'

i love the fact that i am NOT in california, that i have the opportunity to explore someplace new. his comments trigger feelings of guilt, that i should live back in southern california like my sister. it's a struggle to do things for myself - not to do them, rather to do them without feeling guilt, without feeling selfish, without feeling like i am letting SOMEONE down.

if i was not afraid of failing, i would live my life as i choose to - doing what i love, what i feel passionate about, what makes me feel whole.

i know, i know, that sounds sappy. but i really think that fear does hold me back.