risk choosing the uncertain rather than the predictable and you will never tire of being alive.

i have been reading a couple of buddhist books recently. one (that i believe i have writte about before) is by a buddhist nun, 'comfortable with uncertainty'. i am quite content now, the place i am in feels very good, and very right. however, i sometimes think of december - where i am going next, what will happen...will i attempt a return to my sacramento life? will i continue further down the path i have started down? what will happen to my 'other' life if i do? how will i know what decision to make? when will i make it?

i have to remind myself to be patient. now everything is great. so many good moments, some challenging ones, some frustrating ones, but i am quite content. i realize when i am aware of the present moment, enjoying, recieving it fully, everything is managable, and i can escape from those worrisome thoughts which do not have answers now. to realize that the answers will come, and that i will know when they do.

from the book...i like this passage:

see what is

holding on to beliefs limits our experience of life. that doesn't meanthat beliefs or opinions or ideas are a problems. it's the stubborn attitude of having to have things be a particular way, grasping on to our beliefs and opinions, that causes the problems. using your belief system this way creates a situation in which you choose to be blind instead of being able to see, to be deaf instead of being able to hear, to be dead rather than alive, asleep rather than awake.

as people who want to live a good, full, unrestricted, adventurous, real kind of life, there is concrete instruction we can follow: see what is. when you catch yourself grasping at beliefs or toughts, just see what is without calling your belief right or wrong, acknowledge it. see it clearly without judgement and let it go. come back to the present moment. from now until the moment of your death,you could do this.