hmm.

i am basically packed. (woo!) a plastic bin full of clothing, one of bedding/towels, one for bath-y kinda stuff, one for random personal stuff, a box of books, my camping/food bin...i think that's it. i know i will forget something. oh well. just hope it's not something important!

my mother-in-law called last night. to express her worry. 'don't they have jobs like that in california?' yes, they do. this opportunity came up and i decided to take it. 'why again are you going to north carolina? are you sure this is a good idea? it's not very safe to drive there...'

then my father...'did you call the school and make sure it's a 'real' job?' dad, i have a stack of paperwork on letterhead, brochures from the programs, they have a website, and the website is at a UNC address. i don't think that is neccessary.' he did not like that. finally, i told him that i feel like he's implying that i am irresponsible, and that i don't think that i am. then i got the lecture from my stepmother.

gee, thanks for the support.

really made me question myself - am i being totally impractical? is this just a stupid idea? am i totally crazy to drive across the country alone? is it so dangerous i shouldn't do it?

what happens when you grow up trying to please your family. i feel awful about doing something they don't really support. my dad would never tell me 'not' to do something, but his tone of voice and comments signal his disapproval.

it's really frustrating.

thoughts on driving across the country alone? am i insane? is it a stupid thing to try to do? what do y'all think? now i am really worried about it. :(