read this in an article in utne reader this month, entitle: 'the unbearable likeness of choosing: choice means everything to modern americans, and that may be too much'. we pride ourselves on the fact that we CAN choose, but i think sometimes it seems like there are 'too many choices'. then there are worries about what those choice say about us, and what the consequences of those choice may be. the philosophy in the quote below is one i try to follow. i used to think i could control my life, that if i tried hard enough it would turn out as it was 'supposed to'. the more i am able to accept the fact that things just are as they are, make intuitve choices and don't second guess myself, the happier i am. i still do not regret anything i've done in my life - because without those choices, i would not be where i am today.

'the single most important decision any of us will ever make,' said albert einstein, 'is whether or not the universe is friendly.' deciding that the universe is friendly is the most important decision we can make toward ensuring that we can make our choices in freedom and even joy.

an old friend of mine once said to me that whenever he had a choice to make, he weighed the pros and cons seriously, but not too long; then he simply chose, and gave up all second thoughts are second guesses. 'that's because those choices make up mylife, not some perfect life.' he said. he was content to live his life, with twists and turns that no one else might make, creating patterns that belonged to him.

he could have confidence in this pattern because he believed the universe was friendly, that other people were real, and that he was deeply connected to many others. he could not, ultimately, 'lose' by making the 'wrong' decision because every decision would lead him somewhere he needed to go - to someone who could help, to some situation he could make better, to some need he could fill.

there are certainly times at this stage in my life where i think 'what the hell AM i doing?' i have no idea where i will be in 3 months, no idea what kind of job i will be working, where i'll be living, what my living situation will be...and start to worry. fortunately, those times are becoming fewer, and i tend to think 'i have no idea, but that's ok. it makes it interesting, and i trust that it will work out and i will make the choices that will lead me down my path...not the 'right' path, but mine. because that is the 'road less travelled by', and it will 'make a difference.