hmm...i wrote this on nancies, after a guy said something about not understanding why a girl would stay with a guy who didn't treat her well...in an attempt to explain, and realized some things about myself...i know this isn't the most interesting stuff to read, but this relationship stuff has been crowding out everything else that is in my head right now...

haha, i'm currently in the process of ending a marriage where i was on the recieving end of those beer burps...

but to explain why i have been in this relationship longer than i probably 'should' have...

not to make any excuses for the guy's rude behavior, but it typically is something that is much better in the beginning, and degenerates (if the relationship isn't working) as time goes on. from the woman's side, i think it also becomes more and more irritating as you grow frustrated in the relationship. (i swear i had days where i said to myself 'if he [insert various rude guy behaviors here] without saying excuse me (or something similar), that's it. i'm done.'

(of course that's not remotely the way it ended...because the real reasons are so much deeper than that)

if the guy she's dating is a 'jerk', he probably wasn't always that bad or she wouldn't be with them. likewise, what you hear is always all the bad stuff...i know i have been bitching about my relationship for a long time, but there were always some 'good parts' still there, those moments where you think, 'well, if it can be good like this, maybe i can save it....'

when my guy friends were so much more thoughtful than my husband had been being, i realized that i couldn't stay where i was, that things could be better.

it's not black in white - being treated 'well' does not make everything else in the relationship good, just as being treated 'badly' does not make everything in the relationship bad.

'on the corner of grey street at the edge of the world...'

emotions and feelings don't change overnight, and i think it's often easier to hang on, even when things are bad, because the thought of all you'd have to go through to end it is overwhelming...

on another note, i personally don't like the 'challenge' aspect - almost every one of the guys i've been with has been a friend first...which usually meant that we communicated well, understood each other, etc...you can't *make* somebody like you, i think those types of feelings are deeper inside of you, something nobody can control...

i don't think 'rules' are the answer - communication and honesty are more helpful. :)

haha, all this before coffee. probably doesn't make any sense.