one week...

It's been, one week since you looked at me,
Threw your arms in the air and said, "You're crazy."

crazy? perhaps. it's funny...every little part of my normal 'routine' takes on a different meaning. i brew my coffee, realizing i only have 7 more cups to go, hug my dogs, knowing i will miss them terribly on my trip, wonder how weird it will be to drive after not doing it for a month...but also being outside, drinking in the sun, looking at the pale green buds on the trees, knowing that i will be in nature for a month, where i, too will grow.

piles of things to pack are starting to accumulate, as are post-it notes listing things to do. so many things swirling through my head. doesn't make for interesting blog entries, i know. i can't formulate thoughts that make too much sense to me, let alone to any of you reading. i feel as if a giant field of uncertainty is ahead. one that is there for me to explore. i hope i have the courage to do that...to take as much in as i can, instead of fearing what may be lurking there.

i bought the fight club dvd recently...i have seen it a couple of times (borrowed a friend's copy)...think it's due for another viewing. probably my favorite movie. me, who abhorrs violence, loves a movie titled 'fight club'....

what really drew my attention was the underlying theme that you have to break yourself apart to build something new. it's only when you realize that you're not your lousy hair or your bad debts or your fears that you're not good enough that you can actually create a new life for yourself. what was exciting and dramatic about the book is that one character forcibly brings about the awareness in the other by willfully destroying everything to which the unenlightened character is attached. - ross grayson bell, in the fight club liner notes

been kinda melancholy and introspective...30 days without a computer...funny that i spend many years where i rarely touched my computer. didn't even have one til my last two years in college. now it's a window to knowledge, communication, friendships, music...