blackbird singing in the dead of night
take these broken wings and learn to fly
all your life
you were only waiting for this moment to arise

blackbird singing in the dead of night
take these sunken eyes and learn to see
all your life
you were only waiting for this moment to be free

more quoting, but i love this song.i know i don't discuss my personal life too much here (and the few times i have it just caused problems - more then already exisited)...but i know the confusion i've trapped myself in the middle of will soon reach some sort of resolution. things have been difficult for so long, that it's gotten to the point where it is simply easier to be miserable in what's familiar rather than change. i'm more afraid of the uncertain.

it's quite unlike me - to be so indecisive, to be so scared. i can quit my 'office' job doing what i studied in college because i am bored and unchallenged. i worked for myself, doing lots of 'learning by doing' and making a decent income (before the dotcom collapse), i can pack up my car and drive across the country by myself to take a job in an unfamiliar place doing something new, i can fly to the other side of the country to meet people i've only talked to online, i've dealt with the loss of a parent, survived a serious car accident - my dad thinks purely by determination that i was going to be fine....

...why can't i have the guts to face up to my feelings and make some decisions in my relationship?